Criticism

A few days ago I received a nice comment on my blog from a girl named Sarah who I do not know. I visited her blog, loved her style, and have since been visiting her blog daily. Today she posted this blog: Comments. It is basically about criticism and girls being too sensitive.

This was one of those blogs that as I was reading it I found my heart pounding harder and harder. This is me. Criticism is my all time weakness. Many may not know that about me. I hate that trait. There are times when someone may say a simple statement and in my head I twist and turn it and become upset because I feel they were criticizing me in a beating around the bush type of way.

If I need or want advice, I ask for it. Always. Other advice I receive, I view as criticism. I shouldn't be that way, but I am. This probably surprises some people. I can put up a pretty good shield.

I really don't think I became this way until I became a mother. Or maybe that's when I began to take it more personally. I'm not sure. I think as a mother of young children, I'm constantly hoping that I am doing it right. When going to the pediatrician office for well check ups, I often view that as an evaluation of myself as a mother.

Extra ear wax....shame on me even though there wasn't anything I could have done for that.

Blocked tear duct....did I not massage it enough?

Jackson's speech...does she think I don't talk to him enough?

Even if Garrett doesn't have a diaper rash, I will lather on the diaper rash cream the night before going to the doctor just to make sure his little bottom is nice and white! I wouldn't want her to think I don't change his diaper enough.

Is he good eating vegetables? Is he good eating meat? Come on....just ask me if I am cooking right for him?!

As you can see, I worry enough on my own. Remember the mean grocery store lady that thought I was unaware of Jackson licking the cart? The fact that I still feel ashamed of myself for that which was almost 2 years ago shows that I don't do well with criticism.

Then if I catch someone looking at me without them knowing that I caught them....does she think I am fat? Does she think my outfit is awful? I know, I should wear a necklace with this outfit, but Garrett will yank it off. Are you looking at those weird short pieces of hair? I lost some hair there after I had Garrett. It's now growing back nicely. etc.....

I think what it comes from is the fact that I think my confidence level is good, so when someone says something (or doesn't say something when I think they should), it makes me question myself.

Ugggggh. I wrote this entire blog just because I read that other blog, which made me worry that I worry too much.........I need to lighten up. I know this. Don't tell me I need to, you have no idea how much I will worry about it!!!!! :)