School Days.

When I log on to Facebook, I see status updates about teachers starting a new school year and I am so thankful I get to continue to stay home with Jackson and Garrett. However, this year my excitement seems different than last year. This year as I read those Facebook status updates, it's just not as easy to skip over the moms who are taking their child to kindergarten for the first time. This year get big knots in my stomach.

Luckily Jackson has an early birthday, September 27th, so he doesn't start kindergarten for three more years. It's not the whole separation issue that bothers me. I am fine taking the boys to Sunday School. I would be fine with putting them in a Mother's Day out program. When it is time, I will enroll them in a pre k program of our choice. However, those are the key words - our choice. If there were ever a problem and we were unhappy, we could remove them from the class as fast as we enrolled them in the class.

Lately I have had a lot on my mind. Aaron and I have known we wanted to move before Jackson started kindergarten. Crandall ISD is a wonderful district and our neighbors all have sweet kids, but we really want Jackson and Garrett to be in one school district from K-12 and Aaron and I never had plans of being here that long. For some reason, someone came up with the term "Starter Home" and that was our plan for this house. It was our starter home. The house we would have one child in and move out of in 5 years. Here we are five and a half years later with two kids. I would love for our house to sell any moment, but at the same time the thought of deciding where we are permanently moving to puts knots in my stomach. Decisions are much more intense now that our children are the heart of our decision.

I taught in public schools and there is so much to consider. It's really not a battle anyone can win. For me personally, a good school district is very important. The choice would be easy if that was the only thing to consider, but it's far from it. The people that fill that school is what matters. Teachers are extremely important, but Jackson and Garrett's peers are the most important. I've been there. I've taught at schools with WONDERFUL teachers with great TAKS scores, but I also had innocent 2nd and 4th graders that came from great families that were exposed to things that I would never want my child exposed to. Yes, the school can punish and take care of the behavior (after lots and lots and lots of documentation), but that doesn't erase it from those innocent eyes and ears. I wish I was referring to things as simple as a bad word, but things can be much worse than that. Many of you would be very surprised. Parents, both rich and poor, have kids that shouldn't have ever had kids in the first place. These kids, both low income and high income, see things they should have never seen. Then our kids, go to school with them at the age of 5. After hearing a story I heard today about what a kindergartener brought to school, we have a lot we have to teach Jackson about before he goes to kindergarten....and I wish it was as simple as his colors, shapes, and sounds.

Am I freaking out? Yes.

Do I need to relax? Yes.

Are there other teachers reading this that know exactly what I am talking about? Yes.

Would I be excited if my children had all great, organized, kind hearted teachers that graded their papers with cute stickers and big smiley faces? Yes.

But, I'm a little stressed about finding the perfect community, with the perfect school, filled with perfect families, because I KNOW that doesn't exist and in only three short years I will have to face that fact when I send my first set of innocent eyes to public school.