Dear Mr. Bottle,

This may come as a shock to you, but I wanted to inform you that my Mommy is throwing you in the trash because I am too old to put you in my mouth. I have moved on to these neat cups to drink from with cool handles, also known as sippy cups. I am really good at using them since I have been observing my brother for so long. I have to work harder to get my milk out of a sippy cup, but I am okay with that. Just touching the handles makes me dance in my high chair!

Mr. Bottle, you and your whole bottle family have given me satisfaction for the past 9 months of my life, but it is time I say goodbye. If you are still interested in comforting a baby, try calling Suri Cruise (who is older than my big brother)....I think her Mommy will still let you comfort her.

Love,
Garrett